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Birthday Party Planning
Getting Started on Your Child’s Birthday Party
Successful children's birthday parties don't just happen, they're planned. Before you sit down and choose a party theme with your child, you'll want to start by selecting a birthday party location. Then, get your calendar and set a party date and time. Below you’ll find some considerations that may effect these decisions. In addition, suggestions are offered for making a tentative guest list and choosing a party theme. You'll want to review this information before you begin shopping so you're less likely to over purchase or underestimate the time frame you need to fill.
Selecting A Children’s Birthday Party Location
Start by deciding where you'll have the birthday party. Young children prefer a home location because it feels more familiar. A child's anxiety can keep him from joining in or can cause misbehavior. Having the party at your own home limits anxiety and offers other advantages. You're guaranteed to have restrooms, you'll have everything you could need close at-hand, and you can limit the party area to control the kids and the mess. Having a backyard party can be ideal because there will be less cleanup, more room for games, and no worry of damage to your house.
Consider having your party away from home if you feel your home is just not suitable. Maybe you feel there won't be enough room, you're worried that something may get broken or you'd just rather not have to clean your house. Use a location in your community so you can make a quick emergency trip home if need be. Also, be sure to use a location that offers reservations so that you won't have the unpleasant surprise of finding someone else in your chosen party spot on the day of the event. Remember to have a foul weather plan. Will you reschedule or scale down and move indoors?
Setting The Birthday Party Date
Don't be rigid about holding a party on your child's actual birth date. This can be reserved for creating a special tradition with just your immediate family and their gifts. Oftentimes, grandparents enjoy this opportunity more since their gifts won't compete with those from friends. The traditional date for parties has always been Saturday or Sunday, but with children being involved in weekend activities you run the risk of not everyone being able to attend. We suggest calling key friends prior to selecting one of these dates to ensure that your child's closest friends are available.
Mid-week holidays such as President's Day and Veteran's Day can prove to be a great choice for a party date because parents often have these days off from work. Since most families don't go out of town on a these holidays, most kids will be available to attend. For five and six year olds, school modified days, where the children go in the morning and are off in the afternoon, can be a smart choice. Parents don't usually make plans for these half days and the birthday child is out of the house so you can do last minute preparations without interruption.
Setting The Birthday Party Time
Your child's age should determine the length of the party. For children ages three and four, two hours is a maximum amount of time you'll want to allow for a party, including meal time if you are planning one. These young children are freshest in the morning or right after an afternoon nap. Morning parties can be easiest on the host. Setup can be done the night before while the kids are sleeping which avoids curious hands disturbing the scene. Time conflicts for younger children result for two reasons: when the adult is not able to attend because of other commitments, mainly church services or a siblings weekend activity; or because the child's nap time doesn't correspond to the party time. Don't be shy about surveying parents ahead of time. Adjusting the party time so that your child's best friend can attend will avoid hurt feelings on both sides. Serving a full meal requires a larger budget, takes time away from the activities that kids enjoy most and is assumed when parties overlap traditional meal hours. Avoid dealing with an irritable child on low fuel by making the food issue clear from the start. Let parents know right on your invitation whether or not you'll be serving a meal or just a snack. For this age group we suggest a light, balanced meal that's pre-served and ready-to-go or finger foods that can be snacked on as the child needs them. Anything more elaborate will require extra hands as kids this age are unable to serve themselves.
With school-age kids, aged five and six, an extra 30 minutes should be added to the party. Children this age tend to invite more guests to their party so games and activities will run longer. Plus, they're more outgoing so they'll talk amongst themselves between games and during activities. Kids this age are on the go and more interested in games and crafts than they are with what's to eat. As long as you keep them fueled with drinks and snacks they like; they'll be happy. Consider serving an energizing snack and drink that can be carried along during the party. You can have it prepared it in advance and they can eat and drink when they need to.
With both age groups, times should be specific in starting as well as ending. By the close of the party you'll be ready for a break so don't leave yourself open to late parents by leaving the ending time non-specific.
Birthday Party Guests
It can be a touchy situation deciding who to invite to the party. Involve your child in the decision making process by first discussing budget considerations. Explain that there is a trade-off between the number of guests and the number of activities. Children as young as four or five can understand that providing loot bags for more kids means spending less on activities and games. Let your child develop the guest list and you can offer suggestions. He'll feel more in control this way and your suggestions will be well received.
How Many Birthday Party Guests To Invite
Seasoned party planners have learned the hard way that the rule of age plus one works best in deciding how many guests to invite. This simple rule keeps the ratio of parents to children at the recommended level which keeps the party activities manageable and gives each child the attention he needs. This is especially important when children start attending parties without their parent, at age four or five. Young children tend to be overwhelmed by the noise and action of a large party. This can lead to quiet children distancing themselves by not wanting to participate and rowdier children feeding off each other. We suggest saving large group parties for milestone birthdays like becoming a teenager, turning sweet sixteen and reaching adulthood. Older children will appreciate your efforts more and can be more helpful with party preparations at these ages.
Whom To Include In The Birthday Party Guest List
Start by making a list of your child's closest friends; those he plays with regularly. A class/team picture or roster may be helpful. Consider that children don't want "all boy" or "all girl" parties until ages seven or eight so a mix of boys and girls is probably what a child aged three to six would want. Remember that the more similar the guests are in age and interest, the more smoothly the party will go. Grouping your tentative guest list by age and relationship can help when making a difficult decision of where to cut the guest list off. If the age and interests are too broad or if the list needs to be trimmed significantly, consider doing a mini-party. These additional children can celebrate with cupcakes at a school party or after soccer practice. Just remember that your child's feelings are exposed here. Kids don't learn to differentiate acquaintances from friends until their teens and are uncomfortable with leaving anybody out. So, try to include their close friends in some sort of significant way or prepare your child with some suggestions on what to say to someone who's not invited.
Don't forget to include siblings. Young ones should be considered guests; participating in all activities and games and receiving a favor bag. Older siblings make great helpers. Remember that this is an opportunity for your family to come together and share their creative sides. Be sure to include your spouse as an integral party of the party by having him join in on the planning. Your birthday child will be honored to have everyone involved!
Choosing A Birthday Party Theme
This is the most important event of your child's year. Children at this age are so into their birthday's that they continually ask how long until the next one and each time a friend has a birthday the excitement about their own renews. Let them know you recognize what a significant event this is by making your child part of the planning and decision making. Start by sitting down with them and choosing a theme together.
Your child is unique so you'll want to choose a theme that's unique to their current interests. It doesn't matter what theme is chosen, only that your child makes the choice. If they don't have a theme in mind, look for areas of interest by talking about what's most interesting to them at this particular time in their life. Favorite stories, songs, activities and subjects of their most frequently asked questions can provide clues as to what they're curious about now. Use the questions below to help uncover party theme ideas and your child's expectations.
What type of dramatic play does your child like?
Fantasy such as medieval times or pirates? Or, real life drama like pretending to be a bride or a safari hunter?
Do they like to dress up in costumes?
Do they prefer hats and props?
Do they like to wear face paint?
What type of activities does your child like?
Do they enjoy messy activities with glue or paint?
Do they prefer clean activities like coloring or using stickers?
Do they like skilled activities like bead stringing or building?
Do they act out dramas with toy figures?
Do they like to collect things?
What type of games does your child like?
Seek and Find?
Bingo?
Musical?
Individual?
Group?
Now you have a good idea of what themes are of interest to your child and also what their expectations are as far as games and activities. With this information in hand, browse the themes that match their interests. Concentrate on the areas of the party that would excite them the most. For example, if she enjoys dressing up, show her the theme's party hats and costumes, or if he enjoys group games read him the description of how the themes' games are played. You'll know from their reaction if this is the right theme for them. Once a final decision on a theme is made, start budgeting. Keep your child's desires as a top priority in deciding what to buy. Before you exclude an activity they've chosen or cut back on guests, get creative with how you'll handle party food and favors. These two items can be the greatest expense of a party; adding ten to fifteen dollars per guest. Forego serving a meal and store-bought cake to guests and their parents. You'll trim your budget significantly by serving snacks and cupcakes. If your child loves the idea of costumes, but your budget doesn't, use them as a party favor instead of loot bags.
Remember that your gift to your child is providing them with the most enjoyable birthday party possible. Making it a unique, one-of-a-kind experience, suited to their personality and preference will ensure that it is.
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